10.30.12 Love

5 Tips For Dealing With Your Partner Looking At Other Women

5 Tips For Dealing With Your Partner Looking At Other Women

BY Sarah Prout

Men look at other women and it’s perfectly normal. However, many women feel uncomfortable and start fuming (read: steam billowing out of their ears) when they see their lover eye-balling a younger woman wearing a tight dress or bust them looking at the most ridiculously-themed porn. Have you seen some of that stuff? It’s seriously hilarious and I know you know what I’m talking about.

Here are some practical tips for dealing with this situation:

1. See it for what it is.
I think that the base cause of the feelings of discomfort for women when their partners look at other ladies can be insecurity and it’s really a pointless waste of your precious energy. From personal experience I can honestly say there have been times that my blood wanted to boil when I caught my partner mentally undressing a random woman in a restaurant, supermarket or in the post office. But the biological essence of the situation is that it means nothing. Literally nothing. It’s a fleeting surge that happens within the mind of the man and doesn’t mean he’s going to spontaneously sweep the attractive stranger off her feet and run away with her.

2. Jealousy is not very pretty.
Some men are better than others when it comes to taking a sneaky peek at a hottie. I know if I was a man I’d be pretty good at it I think. I’m pretty good at it now when I check out a man I find attractive.

The key point to remember here is that it’s about feeling worthy within yourself and not letting jealously rattle your cage. By comparing yourself to the woman you bust your partner looking at can be really upsetting and damaging to your
self-esteem if you let it.

3. Transform your fear into trust.
Just remember that it’s not an opportunity to question the special nature of your relationship or question your own unique attractiveness. Fear always attracts more fear so make sure that you approach any issues that make you feel
awkward with a sense of calm when you feel it’s necessary to discuss this with your partner.

Essentially, it’s all about empowerment: feeling comfortable in your own skin so it shouldn’t bother you whatsoever if your man checks out other women.

4. Invite your partner to channel the sexual energy towards you.
I opened a discussion to my boyfriend recently about this tpic as he felt slightly uncomfortable expressing to me that he indeed feels attracted to other women. I told him that this falls into the category of his own private conversation with the Universe and I don’t need to know everything. I also told him that the way I intend to view the situation is that I’m the lucky lady that gets to have all of that energy channelled into me (if you catch my drift) in the privacy and sanctity of our relationship.

5. Allow yourself to shine.
I’ve spent way too much of my life not feeling worthy and choosing to get grumpy over stupid, insignificant stuff. But I’m choosing NOW to be the best time ever to celebrate my own sexiness, my own beauty and my own ability to intend that I feel secure in all situations that arise. The key is alignment and moving away from fear based sense of false competition to allow the essence of our glorious expression as women to shine!

Sarah Prout is a bestselling author, co-founder of the Adventures In Manifesting series, entrepreneur, publisher and mumma of 2 little darlings. She reaches over 55,000 followers in over 24 countries around the globe with heartfelt, vibrant and empowering advice about love, business and style. Visit: SarahProut.com.

Sarah Prout is a bestselling author, co-founder of the Adventures In Manifesting series, entrepreneur, publisher and mumma of 2 little darlings. She reaches over 55,000 followers in over 24 countries around the globe with heartfelt, vibrant and empowering advice about love, business and style. See more of Sarah's work on her website.

Comments

  • Quark Lepton Boson

    I do not feel jealous but I embarrassed. He looks at ugly women mostly. I felt ignored even though I know he loves me. I felt insulted.

  • Jessica

    You know I have to admit that is great advice. My man accused me of cheating on him, when I just went to my guyfriend’s house to talk about my man to him and my man accused me of cheating on him, but he broke up with me, so I went to be with that guyfriend because he trusted me and my man was sorry that he said that to me. Then he accused me of doing something with another guy, but that guy said my man was cheating on me, but I shouldn’t of believed that guy because he just wanted to get in my panties and he tried to rape me and my man wanted me back, but he did do something that was wrong and he stopped doing things that was wrong. If your man is jealous then break up with him and make him jealous and then he will trust you if you break up with him to be with another guy because your man is to jealous, so make him jealous and he will want you more after he finds out that you get another guy in your life that trusts you. I am not going to lie that I was sad that he said I might like this other woman and I am not jealous because she has kids and drama too. Don’t lie to me about drugs. Your man will trust you after you got him to trust you because you are making him think you can get any man that will trust you and he will be a better man when you start making him think he is the best thing that happened to you, but if you don’t trust her then you will lose her because you don’t trust her around other guys and I don’t get along with females, but after saying he trusts me because he sees how faithful I am when he trusts me around other guys and if he doesn’t trust me then I break up with him and find another guy to hang out with or be with to make him realize what he has lost and he is trusting me 100%.

  • Just Me

    I find this article very disempowering. Yes, being attracted to other men or women is normal. Sex is normal too. Picking your nose is normal. Farting is normal. Lots of things can be categorized as ‘normal’. That doesn’t mean you have sex with everyone you feel like having sex with. It doesn’t mean that you pick your nose while your talking about how your day went at the dinner table. It doesn’t mean you let one rip anytime you feel like you need to.

    Society has brainwashed us ladies into accepting behavior that should be considered more carefully. It is not okay for your man to ogle every pretty woman that passes him. These are the exact behaviors that do build distrust and lost connection in a relationship. I know that after seeing my boyfriend look at another woman I feel less connected to him and I want to be less connected to him. He is making a distinctive choice and taking a distinctive action that tells where his head and heart is in the moment. And when I say ‘where his heart is at the moment”, I don’t mean I think he is ‘in-love’ with the other women. I mean that his ‘heart’ is about “himself” and his whims and desires and not about “us”.

    Jealously might not be ‘pretty’ (and I really hate this point because who cares if all our feelings are always ‘pretty’ or not) but neither is it attractive to watch your partner check out other women. If checking out other women is ‘normal’, and I think we all agree that it is. Getting upset over your partner’s choice to check out women is also completely ‘normal’!

    At the end of the day, I think men are great. But they have built generations of entitlement to women’s bodies and believe that their actions should be excused for it and their girlfriends should be waiting with big warm smiles, spread arms to embrace him in all his crappy behavior. No. Men need to learn to respect and appreciate their own partners and invest their own sexual energy into their partners instead of investing sexual energy into other women and then using the woman that loves him most as an outlet for that energy he had for other women.

  • Ginny

    I feel very disrespected when I catch my bf looking at other women. I know all men do this but could you be a little bit more discreet about it? I don’t care when I’m not around I don’t even worry or think about it but in my and?or your partner
    presents please stop.

  • Rita Quaw

    it is plain right out rude of him; he may as well go run over to the woman and start having sex with her right in front of you.

  • Ellie

    I know this is an old post but I want to add my little issue after having google’d “husband stares at other women”, thought I was alone on this. I’ve confronted my husband about his wondering eyes and although he denies he has a problem persisting he’d see this and address the issue …just makes me look psycho. For example, last week, we are both sitting across each other at LGA lounge working on our electronic devices and suddenly I look up at him and notice his attention was 100% headed toward someone else who sat behind me. So I cautiously turned off my monitor display so it could mirror what he was looking at behind me – a blond female. He was literally staring at her privates it was as if he could not believe what he is looking at. I mean I get it, he is attracted to blond females, and although I’m pretty content with who I am his behavior only makes me wonder, why am I even in this relationship? Plenty of times, I’ve expressed how disturbing and disrespectful staring is – but some men just don’t get it. Perhaps, it is because they are predominantly carnal and animalistic in nature and are reluctant to change. Or maybe there is a new-cow theory. Whatever the case, I give up.

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