10.30.12 Love

5 Tips For Dealing With Your Partner Looking At Other Women

5 Tips For Dealing With Your Partner Looking At Other Women

BY Sarah Prout

Men look at other women and it’s perfectly normal. However, many women feel uncomfortable and start fuming (read: steam billowing out of their ears) when they see their lover eye-balling a younger woman wearing a tight dress or bust them looking at the most ridiculously-themed porn. Have you seen some of that stuff? It’s seriously hilarious and I know you know what I’m talking about.

Here are some practical tips for dealing with this situation:

1. See it for what it is.
I think that the base cause of the feelings of discomfort for women when their partners look at other ladies can be insecurity and it’s really a pointless waste of your precious energy. From personal experience I can honestly say there have been times that my blood wanted to boil when I caught my partner mentally undressing a random woman in a restaurant, supermarket or in the post office. But the biological essence of the situation is that it means nothing. Literally nothing. It’s a fleeting surge that happens within the mind of the man and doesn’t mean he’s going to spontaneously sweep the attractive stranger off her feet and run away with her.

2. Jealousy is not very pretty.
Some men are better than others when it comes to taking a sneaky peek at a hottie. I know if I was a man I’d be pretty good at it I think. I’m pretty good at it now when I check out a man I find attractive.

The key point to remember here is that it’s about feeling worthy within yourself and not letting jealously rattle your cage. By comparing yourself to the woman you bust your partner looking at can be really upsetting and damaging to your
self-esteem if you let it.

3. Transform your fear into trust.
Just remember that it’s not an opportunity to question the special nature of your relationship or question your own unique attractiveness. Fear always attracts more fear so make sure that you approach any issues that make you feel
awkward with a sense of calm when you feel it’s necessary to discuss this with your partner.

Essentially, it’s all about empowerment: feeling comfortable in your own skin so it shouldn’t bother you whatsoever if your man checks out other women.

4. Invite your partner to channel the sexual energy towards you.
I opened a discussion to my boyfriend recently about this tpic as he felt slightly uncomfortable expressing to me that he indeed feels attracted to other women. I told him that this falls into the category of his own private conversation with the Universe and I don’t need to know everything. I also told him that the way I intend to view the situation is that I’m the lucky lady that gets to have all of that energy channelled into me (if you catch my drift) in the privacy and sanctity of our relationship.

5. Allow yourself to shine.
I’ve spent way too much of my life not feeling worthy and choosing to get grumpy over stupid, insignificant stuff. But I’m choosing NOW to be the best time ever to celebrate my own sexiness, my own beauty and my own ability to intend that I feel secure in all situations that arise. The key is alignment and moving away from fear based sense of false competition to allow the essence of our glorious expression as women to shine!

Sarah Prout is a bestselling author, co-founder of the Adventures In Manifesting series, entrepreneur, publisher and mumma of 2 little darlings. She reaches over 55,000 followers in over 24 countries around the globe with heartfelt, vibrant and empowering advice about love, business and style. Visit: SarahProut.com.

Sarah Prout is a bestselling author, co-founder of the Adventures In Manifesting series, entrepreneur, publisher and mumma of 2 little darlings. She reaches over 55,000 followers in over 24 countries around the globe with heartfelt, vibrant and empowering advice about love, business and style. See more of Sarah's work on her website.

Comments

  • izzy

    I have this issue with my boyfriend but when I try to bring it up he denys it and gets very offensive. I know he finds other women attractive but tells me he only has eyes for me and only finds me attractive which is obviously a lie. How do I handle this situation when he doesnt admit it?

  • Meeshers

    My husband is from Brazil, and is an outrageous butt man. He is a notorious flirt and looks at just about any attractive woman all day anytime anywhere, in front of me. He says there is nothing wrong with it. We have been fighting about it since one year and an half ago. It is not the looking that bothers me, IF it was just looking, but he seeks their attention or looks long enough for them to notice him looking. Then they flirt back. Seeking his attention further. In the beginning, he said to me, “What? you think you are the only beautiful girl?”,”You want me to wear blinders?”. I’ve witnessed him literally staring at a married women butt. I mean STARRING smiling and unbelievably getting the attention reciprocated with her smiling back at him and bending over, while she is next to her man!!!!! It seemed out of control and down right unbelievable. But I clearly stayed with him and married him. Basically, I have never been bothered with the natural approach of men appreciating a beautiful girl. To me this is normal. I feel he takes it to a place that is inappropriate. Even as he drives, he seems to be searching passing cars and sidewalks for attractive girls. Mostly, beautiful surfer type blonde girls that are young. Some he has looked at seem very young. Younger than 18. I know men are this way. I just wish he would be respectful to women in general and not feel as if every girl is wanting his attention. Although, girls are always checking him out. He has always followed girls, stared at them for long periods of time. He also follows naked girls on Instagram. Has hundreds of female friends on Facebook. Has an attraction to his own ass (which is better than some women’s butts) Still keeps contact with many of his ex girlfriends, and even flirts and checks out his male friends girlfriends. It has been very challenging with this level of attraction. He says he is not cheating. However, has admitted to cheating on just about every girl he has dated. (So funny he is still friends with them. I wonder if they know?) All in all, he feels its totally normal to be this way even if I’m around. Alternately, some friends have told him its disrespectful and he should be more aware and keep it cool. Instead, he will get angry and accuse me of being jealous or insecure. I can not believe he thinks this is normal. Its over the top and to me for someone who wants a relationship/marriage. I have left many times with him wanting me to return. And I do return. But, I’m starting to feel like there is no end in sight. Regardless of him acknowledging the wrongs of his behavior. All I know is its not because of me he this way and I don’t feel ugly or unwanted, I just feel like I can not have a real loving focused relationship with him. He says to me its the worst relationship he has ever had. Even though I gladly cook three meals a day. Clean the home, wash his clothes, and give him a blowjob every morning and every other night. Have sex when every he wants. How ever he wants. I know Im being ridiculous for staying…I guess soon it will be over, I think maybe it already is. Sometimes I wish he felt bad. He sys he does not, at all.

  • jo

    Whenever I go out in public with my boyfriend he’s always with me and I always catch him paying attention to other females and their asses. I couldn’t take it anymore and I finally confronted him about it since this last time it made me feel so bad. It almost makes one feel as if one is not enough. He denied it and it made things worse because he lied about it. One thing is to look when your not with your partner but in their presence its just plain disrespectful.

  • Tygalily

    I think it’s hurtful and disrespectful, to be honest. When the guy you’re with is fixated on the hottest girl in the room all night. Then you notice her finally leave at the end of the night, you watch him scan the room looking for her. You just want to say. “she left” but instead you go home feeling like shit when the night is over. Worse when you know he has porn induced PE. When you watch him drooling over anything with a short skirt, it leaves me questioning my purpose. I can’t stand all the pretending. I’m a realist. I see things for what they are.
    What do you say when your man tells you the next day he’s been waiting for you his entire life and how wonderfully special you are? Give me a break you think. But instead you’re dying inside.

  • Tygalily

    I think it’s hurtful and disrespectful, to be honest. When the guy
    you’re with is fixated on the hottest girl in the room all night. Then
    you notice her finally leave at the end of the night, you watch him scan
    the room looking for her. You just want to say. “she left” but instead
    you go home feeling like shit when the night is over. When you watch him
    drooling over anything with a short skirt, it leaves one questioning
    your own purpose.
    What do you say when your man tells you the next
    day he’s been waiting for you his entire life and how wonderfully
    special you are? Give me a break you think. But instead you’re dying
    inside. It also leaves one questioning the validity of relationships.
    Period. Everyone is in it for themselves. You wonder if there are in
    fact any men out there who have true integrity. Life is too cheap. Too
    superficial. All tits and ass, nothing real. Nothing substantial. I
    wonder how many men don’t have porn induced pe or ed. Most do.
    People
    don’t talk to each other anymore. Cell phones are all the rage. Show me
    one man/girl who isn’t addicted to social media. why? Tits and ass.
    she’s flashing selfies and he’s all over it!
    One day it will all fade
    and then you find yourself on your death bed questioning what this was
    all about. I can tell you. It’s about having integrity. It’s about
    self-respect and honesty with oneself. It’s about the pursuit of
    self-excellence. Without it, there is no mutual love and respect.

  • Tygalily

    How can any woman feel “empowered’ when the man she’s with has no interest in her. Defeats the whole purpose, don’t you think? It’s like having a one-sided conversation.

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