10.30.12 Love

5 Tips For Dealing With Your Partner Looking At Other Women

5 Tips For Dealing With Your Partner Looking At Other Women

BY Sarah Prout

Men look at other women and it’s perfectly normal. However, many women feel uncomfortable and start fuming (read: steam billowing out of their ears) when they see their lover eye-balling a younger woman wearing a tight dress or bust them looking at the most ridiculously-themed porn. Have you seen some of that stuff? It’s seriously hilarious and I know you know what I’m talking about.

Here are some practical tips for dealing with this situation:

1. See it for what it is.
I think that the base cause of the feelings of discomfort for women when their partners look at other ladies can be insecurity and it’s really a pointless waste of your precious energy. From personal experience I can honestly say there have been times that my blood wanted to boil when I caught my partner mentally undressing a random woman in a restaurant, supermarket or in the post office. But the biological essence of the situation is that it means nothing. Literally nothing. It’s a fleeting surge that happens within the mind of the man and doesn’t mean he’s going to spontaneously sweep the attractive stranger off her feet and run away with her.

2. Jealousy is not very pretty.
Some men are better than others when it comes to taking a sneaky peek at a hottie. I know if I was a man I’d be pretty good at it I think. I’m pretty good at it now when I check out a man I find attractive.

The key point to remember here is that it’s about feeling worthy within yourself and not letting jealously rattle your cage. By comparing yourself to the woman you bust your partner looking at can be really upsetting and damaging to your
self-esteem if you let it.

3. Transform your fear into trust.
Just remember that it’s not an opportunity to question the special nature of your relationship or question your own unique attractiveness. Fear always attracts more fear so make sure that you approach any issues that make you feel
awkward with a sense of calm when you feel it’s necessary to discuss this with your partner.

Essentially, it’s all about empowerment: feeling comfortable in your own skin so it shouldn’t bother you whatsoever if your man checks out other women.

4. Invite your partner to channel the sexual energy towards you.
I opened a discussion to my boyfriend recently about this tpic as he felt slightly uncomfortable expressing to me that he indeed feels attracted to other women. I told him that this falls into the category of his own private conversation with the Universe and I don’t need to know everything. I also told him that the way I intend to view the situation is that I’m the lucky lady that gets to have all of that energy channelled into me (if you catch my drift) in the privacy and sanctity of our relationship.

5. Allow yourself to shine.
I’ve spent way too much of my life not feeling worthy and choosing to get grumpy over stupid, insignificant stuff. But I’m choosing NOW to be the best time ever to celebrate my own sexiness, my own beauty and my own ability to intend that I feel secure in all situations that arise. The key is alignment and moving away from fear based sense of false competition to allow the essence of our glorious expression as women to shine!

Sarah Prout is a bestselling author, co-founder of the Adventures In Manifesting series, entrepreneur, publisher and mumma of 2 little darlings. She reaches over 55,000 followers in over 24 countries around the globe with heartfelt, vibrant and empowering advice about love, business and style. Visit: SarahProut.com.

Sarah Prout is a bestselling author, co-founder of the Adventures In Manifesting series, entrepreneur, publisher and mumma of 2 little darlings. She reaches over 55,000 followers in over 24 countries around the globe with heartfelt, vibrant and empowering advice about love, business and style. See more of Sarah's work on her website.

Comments

  • Ashley Moreno

    THIS IS CRAP!! He’s the one with the issue!

  • Maria

    I’m sorry but I don’t agree with this article at all. I don’t think any woman should put up with their partner looking or staring at other women because “they are all going to do it” that is ridiculous. I am not insecure about myself but it bothers me when my boyfriend looks at another girl, not because I think I’m ugly or because I think he is going to sleep with her, but because it is so extremely disrespectful! trust me if you did the same thing that he does he would not be happy about it, so why should we as women be?

    There are guys out there who do respect their partners I was with my ex for about 5 years and I caught him looking at another girl maybe once or twice! that was it. Did he look at more women when I was not around? probably but he respected me and appreciated me enough not to do it in front of me. To the contrary my current boyfriend looks at a girl when ever he has the opportunity to do so and we have had our share of fights because of this. I am not the jealous type and I trust him but it makes me so angry to see him looking at another woman because I feel disrespected. Hello I’m in front of you talking to you but you’re too busy looking at another woman? what makes you think that’s okay? would you like it if I was staring at every attractive guy out there? This has been a big problem in our relationship to the point of were I’m thinking we should break up and it may seem a bit harsh but if there is no respect why be with that person?

    I think women in general settle with men who do this and “get used to it” because they think every man will do it and every time I hear a women saying that we basically have to look the other way it sadness me because that means that we are not valuing ourselves, so how can we expect our partners to value us?

  • Drew

    Awesome advice, thank you 🙂

  • Mr Happily Married

    A man’s perspective here. Been with my wife for ten years. She is the love of my life and sexy as hell. I would never cheat on her or even really make a pass at a other woman to boost my self esteem. I respect her too much. I wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings because I know if I saw her looking at other men it would hurt me. We watch porn together. It makes our sex life amazing. Problem solved. Now full disclosure, I do look at other women. As a man I have great appreciation for the opposite sex. I admire the beauty of the female form, and its many alluring shaped and faces. One woman is enough to keep me happy, but that innate desire for variety will always be there. She knows this, and does her part to keep our relationship exciting. I return the favor, and take care of myself, stay fit, help her with everything I can, support her emotionally, and am damn sure she’s sexually satisfied.

    This is a two way street folks. We are human with human desires. Instead of taking the lazy route, take responsibility for making yourselves desirable and exciting to be with (men and women both). My wife and I can’t keep our eyes off each other when we are out in public. Men and women stare at her, some women glance at me, but to us the only thing that matters are the two of us.

    It takes work to keep variety and desire in your relationships. Only a fool expects it to last

  • AK47

    Sarah, you have a right to feel upset. You were disrespected. Instead of accepting abuse, why are you just trying to pass it off as nothing? It’s not a petty thing that you should stop worrying about. You’re just allowing yourself to be ok with something that is disrespectful in a relationship. That should never be ok.

  • Vanessa

    This article is retarded. Tired of society making up excuses for these types of people. Obviously, as a human being you will always notice other attractive people; doesn’t mean you have to “check them out” or stare at them. That’s so disrespectful, whether or not your partner is honest about it. Just because you’re not planning on having sex with someone or become emotionally attached doesn’t make it ok to stare at other people. And there’s nothing wrong with being a little insecure. How could you not be insecure when your boyfriend’s checking out other attractive women? So if you were to become total secure about yourself, what? That makes it ok for him to look at other women?

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