10.30.12 Love

5 Tips For Dealing With Your Partner Looking At Other Women

5 Tips For Dealing With Your Partner Looking At Other Women

BY Sarah Prout

Men look at other women and it’s perfectly normal. However, many women feel uncomfortable and start fuming (read: steam billowing out of their ears) when they see their lover eye-balling a younger woman wearing a tight dress or bust them looking at the most ridiculously-themed porn. Have you seen some of that stuff? It’s seriously hilarious and I know you know what I’m talking about.

Here are some practical tips for dealing with this situation:

1. See it for what it is.
I think that the base cause of the feelings of discomfort for women when their partners look at other ladies can be insecurity and it’s really a pointless waste of your precious energy. From personal experience I can honestly say there have been times that my blood wanted to boil when I caught my partner mentally undressing a random woman in a restaurant, supermarket or in the post office. But the biological essence of the situation is that it means nothing. Literally nothing. It’s a fleeting surge that happens within the mind of the man and doesn’t mean he’s going to spontaneously sweep the attractive stranger off her feet and run away with her.

2. Jealousy is not very pretty.
Some men are better than others when it comes to taking a sneaky peek at a hottie. I know if I was a man I’d be pretty good at it I think. I’m pretty good at it now when I check out a man I find attractive.

The key point to remember here is that it’s about feeling worthy within yourself and not letting jealously rattle your cage. By comparing yourself to the woman you bust your partner looking at can be really upsetting and damaging to your
self-esteem if you let it.

3. Transform your fear into trust.
Just remember that it’s not an opportunity to question the special nature of your relationship or question your own unique attractiveness. Fear always attracts more fear so make sure that you approach any issues that make you feel
awkward with a sense of calm when you feel it’s necessary to discuss this with your partner.

Essentially, it’s all about empowerment: feeling comfortable in your own skin so it shouldn’t bother you whatsoever if your man checks out other women.

4. Invite your partner to channel the sexual energy towards you.
I opened a discussion to my boyfriend recently about this tpic as he felt slightly uncomfortable expressing to me that he indeed feels attracted to other women. I told him that this falls into the category of his own private conversation with the Universe and I don’t need to know everything. I also told him that the way I intend to view the situation is that I’m the lucky lady that gets to have all of that energy channelled into me (if you catch my drift) in the privacy and sanctity of our relationship.

5. Allow yourself to shine.
I’ve spent way too much of my life not feeling worthy and choosing to get grumpy over stupid, insignificant stuff. But I’m choosing NOW to be the best time ever to celebrate my own sexiness, my own beauty and my own ability to intend that I feel secure in all situations that arise. The key is alignment and moving away from fear based sense of false competition to allow the essence of our glorious expression as women to shine!

Sarah Prout is a bestselling author, co-founder of the Adventures In Manifesting series, entrepreneur, publisher and mumma of 2 little darlings. She reaches over 55,000 followers in over 24 countries around the globe with heartfelt, vibrant and empowering advice about love, business and style. Visit: SarahProut.com.

Sarah Prout is a bestselling author, co-founder of the Adventures In Manifesting series, entrepreneur, publisher and mumma of 2 little darlings. She reaches over 55,000 followers in over 24 countries around the globe with heartfelt, vibrant and empowering advice about love, business and style. See more of Sarah's work on her website.

Comments

  • Kim

    I disagree with this being all about insecurity. It’s disrespectful. Yes, everyone looks, but is it really that hard to hold back and not make it not incredibly obvious and repetitive?

    If someone can’t care enough to give you basic respect, you gotta let that s*** go. This isn’t something you should have to teach someone to do.

    Has anyone else found that more attractive men do not seem to do this as much? It’s like they are used to being around more attractive women, and aren’t as impressed by looks IMO.

  • Thank you for this article. I’m a bloke but I get agitated by this too and this article really helped me put things in perspective.

    🙂

  • Christina hepp

    If mens looking at other women were so innocent the why do they get jealous of other men looking at their partner? If it truly were just “appreciating” beauty then they should be flattered that they have such a beautiful partner and other people are “appreciating” her beauty and to know that his partner is his. In my opinion it’s disgustingly disrespectful of a person in a relationship to look at others of the opposite sex in a sexual way. If they still feel the need to do that then why did they get involved in a relationship to begin with. And talking about a women’s self esteem…. Well I think that a woman probably had good self esteem when she entered into that relationship and it takes blow after blow when her man is looking at other girls…. Who likes it when their partner looks at another? It really makes you feel like ” why is it that my man has to look at her? What does she have that I don’t? If he really does want to be with me then why does he have to be desrespectful and hurt my feelings in that way? If you love your partner you look for ways to make them feel good not do things that you know are hurtful and disrespectful. You are supposed to make your girl feel like she is the only girl in the world and you only have eyes for her. Men need to stop and think about that for a moment. Really

  • Christina hepp

    Men get jealous of other men looking at their partner cuz they know that when they are looking at another girl they aren’t just “appreciating” their beauty. That’s a big fat lie that we tell ourselves to try to make a huge disrespect into a small insignificant thing. It’s not and its a piggish thing to do to your partner. Its hurtful and belittling and causes lower self esteem and in some cases causes self esteem to disappear altogether

  • Jackie Garcia

    I hate when my man looks at other females even when I caught him cheating on me once but I stayed because I’m pregnant by him I get sad I feel like I’m ugly and dat that I will never look the same how I used to I just wish he would understand how I feel

  • Jackie

    I always feel so uncomfortable when my boyfriend looks at women it’s almost like he forgets that I’m there, even after we have had many fights about me telling him he has a staring problem and letting him know how it makes my feel disrespected and that he makes me look bad in front these girls but it’s always the same thing he will call me crazy (get loud to intimidate) and say that he looks at everyone (bull) and he will tell me that this behavior makes me look really insecure (I am very secure by the way I feel it has to do with respecting your partner and caring about the their feelings) and he doesn’t want a girlfriend that is going to acuse him of craziness ( this makes my blood boil) I honestly feel that women go thru so much in this world, we love with all our heart,we are loving,caring, nurturing and men unfortunately will never be able to truly love and respect us the way we do them smh they don’t have it in them.

    The questions I have for you gals,that I ask myself all the time is – Is there a guy out there that won’t look? Is this something that we will always have to deal with?So what we break up with this boyfriend for this reason and then deal with a new idiot that looks at women also, so basically deal with the same problem but with just a new asshole FML

Every week in your inbox!

  • Exclusive notes and videos from Amanda de Cadenet.
  • Early access to our Limited Space Workshops.
  • Amanda’s Favorites and Special Offers shared with you weekly.
  • Exclusive notes and videos from Amanda de Cadenet.
  • Early access to our Limited Space Workshops.
  • Amanda’s Favorites and Special Offers shared with you weekly.
Subscribe Now

to receive our newsletter every Tuesday.

Sign up here for my Weekly Newsletter and Exclusive Updates: