I have always been single.
I mean, maybe that is not entirely true. I had a boyfriend when I was 21 for three months, and I had a (different) boyfriend for four and a half months when I was 24, and I had a boy who did not want to call himself my boyfriend but still slept in my bed every night when I was 23. You know, labels are for “the man,” man. He was way hip.
But. My favorite holiday is Valentine’s Day, and it has pretty much always been Valentine’s Day. A single girl loving Valentine’s Day?
Valentine’s Day is one of the only holidays that cannot offend anyone in our country. There are plenty of people who do not celebrate Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas or Hanukkah, but even if someone does not actively celebrate Valentine’s Day, it would be hard to find a reason that it offends them. Sure, sometimes single people feel extra single on the 14th of February, but there are plenty of other reasons to celebrate the Day of Love. You love your mother, right? Or your father, at least? Your best friend? How about your boss? Anyone? You must love someone. You at least love the movie The Notebook; don’t lie to me, everyone loves Ryan Gosling. At work this year, I am implementing “old school Valentine’s Day.” All of my coworkers and I have homemade boxes and cute little Valentine’s cards like back in the elementary school days. How cute is that? I am not dating, nor am I married to any of my coworkers, but it is still so lovely, and I still feel so full of love, and by the end of the day, I hope my coworkers, single or taken, all feel the same way I do. Full. Of. Love.
Die Hard is coming out on Valentine’s Day. A Good Day to Die Hard, actually. That’s right, yippee kay yay, Mother Russia. So even if you are not sappy, you can still make plans with Bruce Willis.
Love Songs. Sure, the 14th of February is technically an arbitrary time to listen to love songs, but that does not stop the masses from conforming. Every year, Starbucks sells a love CD, and the cover is adorable, and the songs are always a perfect blend of nostalgia and newness, and you certainly do not have to be in a relationship to enjoy them!
In fact, I would say the best love songs are the sad ones, and if you are happy in love, how do you relate to a sad love song? We should feel bad for these happy couples, swimming around in their love. They do not even know what they are missing, like:
• “I Can’t Make You Love Me” (all versions)
• “U Got it Bad”
• “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now”
• “You Really Got a Hold On Me”
• “Set Me Free”
I mean, come on. Lyrics are always better sad.
You know what else I do not have to do on Valentine’s Day? Buy anything. Like, anything. Last year, the most money I spent was seven bucks— three of that went toward a photo booth with two of my girlfriends, and the rest was for my dinner of a single burrito, a la carte. Best friends, burritos, photo booths, seven bucks, done. I do not have to spend obligatory money on jacked up fancy dinner prices, red roses, or chocolate that tastes like the cardboard box. SINGLE GIRLS WIN.
Plus, the next day, the chocolate is all discounted and you can spend 50% less on chocolate that you know was packaged like…last Valentine’s Day.
You know what else I really love about being single, on Valentine’s Day and any day? Flirting. I mean, I know it is “okay to flirt” when you are in a relationship, but everyone knows that is not entirely true. Innocent flirting is like when a baby looks at you and giggles in a restaurant and his or her parents are like, “Oh, he’s such a flirt!” but flirting that your significant other (I hate that expression, sorry guys) is not okay with is the good kind of flirting. Wouldn’t you rather get out there on Valentine’s Day, split a bottle of champagne at a cute bar with your girlfriends (or yourself, I’m not judging) and flirt with whomever else is there because they are “alone.” Oh, you are not alone, Single Lady.
Think of how invigorating it is to do whatever you want, whenever you want. You may not receive flowers on Valentine’s Day, but soon the flowers will bloom from the trees and out of the ground everywhere you look. Soon, the world will give you flowers. You may not receive chocolate on Valentine’s Day, but you can go buy yourself chocolate any time you’d like. Sure, you may not have a dinner date on Valentine’s Day, but why don’t you save $90, make dinner at home, and watch Titanic?
You know what gets me, though? Just so no one thinks I am superhuman? Cards. I love cards, I love them, and when I see really adorable Valentine’s Day cards/cards about love/both, I can feel that little sad feeling in the pit of my single stomach. Want to know my trick? I buy them anyway. I buy the card, and I save it for the one I find one day worthy. I have about ten cards saved up for my future life partner, whomever he may be. It probably says something that I have never given any of the cards I have to anyone I have ever dated, huh?
Girls, put on your brightest red or pink lipstick, paint your nails to match, put on a skirt, or sweatpants, and hit the town, literally or figuratively.
Or, at the very least, you can always have Kate and Leo.