07.03.12 Truth & Wisdom

On Being a Real Woman

On Being a Real Woman

BY Ashley Perez

These days women are everywhere, and that’s to be understood. After all, we make up half of the world (and probably the better half, too). This isn’t the ’50s anymore; we’ve broken free, allowed to participate in life outside of the kitchen, classroom and hospital. Can you imagine there are more than three professions we women are allowed to aspire to? Good news, right?

Yes, except all women have not used their new-found power for good – many have used it for evil. Others have not even realized they hold any power, and still others are acting as if life’s just a supersized version of Barbie’s dream house where shopping and pleasing Ken are still a girl’s top priorities. No, thank you. So what is a “real woman”, anyways? With role models ranging from the Kardashians to Taylor Swift to Hilary Clinton, how’s a girl supposed to know if she’s headed in the right direction?

This may help a little. Here is my list of five things that make a “real woman”.

Real women know what they want: And if they don’t know what they want, they figure it out. Real women are passionate people; they live for the sake of exploring and experiencing. They don’t wait to be swept off their feet or have their breath taken away; they search for adventure even in the midst of mediocrity.

Real women care: Beware for “caring” does not equate to domesticity. Making your dinner and bringing you a cold beer after a hard day is nice, but it is not the mark of a great lady. Women that care show real emotion; they are concerned for the well being of others and just by their existence help to make the world a brighter place.

Real women inspire: Whether it’s at home, in the workplace or in the trenches of everyday life, the mark of a real woman is that she makes those around her want to be better, to do good.

Real women are classy: Classy ladies come in all shapes and sizes, and being classy has nothing to do with how you dress, what makeup you wear or how well you can fold a dinner napkin. Class is an attitude; it is recognition that everyone around you is worth something and deserves to be treated as such.

Real women know their value: It is not self-inflation that helps a real woman go far, and yet a real woman must know her own value. She loves herself and recognizes her value, because she takes special care to make sure she is a woman of value.

These are just my thoughts and I hope you contribute your own to this list. But just remember all you women out there that a real woman is greater than the sum of her parts. Let no singular thing define you, be it the clothes that you wear, the profession that you chose or even the family that you’ve raised. What makes you a “real woman” is your recognition of the fact that you are more than enough and with that you can change your world.

Ashley, like many other 20-somethings, is trying to figure out how to be a classy, sassy woman of character in a 21st century society. She's definitely a Hannah, though she has some Shoshana-like qualities. An English teacher in South Korea by day, she moonlights as a lover of Dawson's Creek reruns by night. She's cooler than this bio makes her sound, which is why you should check out her blog, Boys are IDOTS and her website, www.twentyandto.com a guide to getting your life together in your 20s.  She also tweets @itsashleyperez


  • All the women are real, and what we need to learn is tolerance towards different lifestyles and values.

  • EstherSanDiego

    Cheers Ashley! We as human beings, and moreover as
    women, need to become real. We have a responsibility to better ourselves and
    become the best version of what we can be. We are given the ability, we just
    need to take charge and do something about it. Only by being faithful to my
    true self I can be real, to matter to myself and others, to never be afraid to
    speak my mind, to be who I am without guilt, shame or fear. We definitely need
    more real women out there, women who can inspire others to be proud of who they
    are and reach the goals of what they can be. 

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