08.14.12 Wellness

Psychic Damage and Tarot Trash

Psychic Damage and Tarot Trash

BY Alice Grist

First up I need to be clear. I am a tarot lover, I have been reading the cards since I was 13. At first for friends, but now I do so professionally. I love and praise the genuine guidance tarot can offer, they are like an objective best friend. From my perspective Tarot can tell you what you already, deep down, know. A good genuine reading should compliment your intuition about your own life. A healthy reading does not offer answers or prediction so much as it offers clarity and perspective.

I was taught to read tarot by my Dad and Stepmum. They are Wiccans. If you don’t know what a Wiccan is, just think: friendly white witch who loves the earth and worships the goddess. I learned that a good reading should present the options. It should not make outlandish predictions or give a person specific instructions. I read cards with a client’s free will in mind at all times. I view each reading as loving spiritual guidance that empowers the client to do what they feel is correct in their own circumstances. I would never interfere with a life path by issuing directives.

The reason I tell you this is because I’m concerned. Of late I have had several clients come to me because they had been to see a psychic or tarot reader who has left them distraught. They hoped I could redress the balance and tell them the other reader was wrong. I explained to each person that the reader was neither wrong or right in their predictions but more importantly they had deprived the client of power by making specific and ultimately harmful predictions. In this respect they are very wrong.

One Woman came to me having been told by a tarot reader that she would divorce her husband. The silliest thing was that this totally backtracked on what the reader originally told her. At the start the reader had said everything was going to be great, with no major changes. But as the reading commenced this transformed into divorce! It doesn’t take a psychic to see that this is nonsensical. Not only did the reader change her prediction as she got to know her client’s life…. She also told her a definite outcome, in essence taking away all of her client’s choice and personal power. If that client had not then come to see me for some straight talking she may well have allowed that reading to become a self-fulfilling mess. Whether she gets divorced or not is irrelevant, it’s her choice. What matters is how badly she felt about the reading. How sad and low and desperate it made her. No good reading should ever do this.

Another client of mine was told years ago by a psychic that she would never have children. This had preyed on her mind for some time. She let it eat her up inside. My answer to her was simple. I too have been told by a psychic that I wouldn’t have children. Well guess what…. I just gave birth to my first child 8 weeks ago. Go figure!

The scariest thing about this is that the psychics who have made the dodgy predictions are well known, highly recommended types. So whilst their predictions may or may not be correct, the way they have been issued certainly is not. Whilst some psychics are clearly talented and brilliant, for every reading of brilliance there is much, much rubbish too. Yet we endow these folks with such power over our lives. If you leave any psychic reading feeling anything but happy, empowered ad positive I would consider that reading to have failed. Predictions of doom and gloom have no place in the spiritual empowerment that tarot and other readings can provide.

I speak from experience as I too have been the recipient of a crappy, distressing reading, more than once. When writing my first book The High Heeled Guide to Enlightenment I placed myself in the hands of people touting all manner of divination techniques. At least one of those rendered up foul results, leaving me questioning everything in my life. That person was a well reputed psychic. But what she told me broke my heart. And worse, with hindsight I can see she was emphatically wrong. But had I chosen to abide by her words my life would look very different now. Scary stuff.

This has happened to me one time since and again could have destroyed my life as I knew it, had I let it. Perhaps people out there do allow their lives to be guided by such prediction. I know that my clients came to me deeply affected emotionally by such irresponsible divination.

So where does this leave the tarot reader in me? Well It leaves her very wary of ever overstepping my mark. My mark is simply to guide, to give advice, to counsel too sometimes. I see tarot as a form of intuitive therapy, it helps the client move forward. It does not tell her which way to go. I refuse to give clients any kind of answer, because I believe deep down they already know it themselves. Tarot can be a powerful sign post to your own heart and mind, it can help you attune to what you already believe, think and feel. In this respect it is a precious gift.

Tarot or any psychic art should never rob you of the opportunity to make your own choice. That way madness lies. If you are looking for answers or decision making in the bottom of a teacup or amongst a set of cards, you are looking in the wrong place. The answers are always within, always. Cards and crystal balls can reflect back your own soul. They can shine a brilliant light on your muddled mind. But as far as prediction and prophecy goes I advise you to make your own, and to know wholeheartedly that it is only you who ever truly can.

Alice Grist is author of The High Heeled Guide to Enlightenment and award winning The High Heeled Guide to Spiritual Living. Alice's third book due out early 2013 is; Dear Poppyseed, A Soulful Momma’s Journal. Alice is imprint publisher of Soul Rocks Books that publishes soulful and spiritual books for a new modern generation. Alice regularly contributes her soulful writings to a number of publications and online sites including Huffington Post. For more info go to www.alicegrist.co.uk.

Comments

  • Sara

    What an amazing coincidence, the day before you posted my partner had received a tarot reading. He said it was some good and some bad….the bad seems to really be weighing on him and last night he said he wished he’d never gone. He won’t share the details with me but do you have any advice on helping him overcome the impact from this “negative” reading?

  • Holly

    Sorry but this read like an advertisement.

    This is a world of duality – both good & bad, light & dark.

    To think that any reading should totally omit any negatives is naive,
    & for some reason we as human beings attempt to avoid suffering at any cost.

    We are the creators & masters of our world. If someone told you something negative, the use your power to change that trajectory, rather than blaming the delivery person. They obviously told the truth as they were seeing it. Is that not what they were paid for?

    If someone pays another being to tell them what they themselves are currently manifesting, then 1. be more aware of your own manifestation power & ability to see & know for yourself, don’t put the power outside yourself; & 2. be prepared for both positive & negative, because that is how we roll here on earth, we grow & flourish from suffering & joy – duality at it’s best.

    To only visit readers whom are going to blow sunshine up your patooty is like taking a drug to feel good.

    Knowing that you are creating your universe from within, you can take the negative insights as just that, an insight into what you are on the trajectory of creating with the current recipe you are using. And if you don’t like what you see, create anew then, nothing is set in stone.

    For me, i would rather see an honest reader who gave me a balance of both good & (so called) bad, than someone spruking their latest book…

    Sorry for the opinion, but this is duality!

    • Brittany

      I don’t think that is what she meant with this article. I think there is a way in which news can be delivered that is from a loving and sincere place. For example, someone may see that an individual is engaging in self-righteous and prideful actions and this is hindering their spiritual growth. However, there is a way to deliver that and when the intention is love I believe a client can feel that. The divorce example is what she is speaking of specifically. If you go in and you are happy in your relationship and someone tells you “It is not going to work” that is not being delivered in a way that allows you to explore and find your own truth. I’m a student of psychology and when we talk about counseling techniques a big rule is generally “don’t give advice”. This is for both legal and ethical reasons. Carl Rogers, founder of humanistic psychology, believed that honoring someone means you trust them as the greatest informant within their own lives. You trust their perspective and opinion about their own life and never try and tell them what they should do. If you tell someone what to do or what decision to make you are placing yourself as an authority in their life, and after all, we truly are all equal. I think what this author is trying to say is that a good reader will guide a client to their own truths, not the reader’s personal beliefs about a situation. I hope this makes sense and you interpret this from a place of love 🙂 I just wanted to share my insight to round out the discussion board.

  • Ann

    What about a psychic predicting death of a friends husband during a tea leaf reading..reading was free with dinner..ridiculous.”.husband would be going up soon make sure everything is in her name”…she is so frightened..Very unethical of reader…Any thoughts????

  • HeathJCS

    My friend’s fiancé passed away a little over a year ago, and to help her I brought my cards over but she ended up handling my cards and doing her own reading… Do I need to buy a new deck?

  • misyange

    I had a reading yesterday and haven’t stopped crying since the reading. Me and my husband have been trying to get back together over the last month and we seem to be making good progress. She basically said that we wouldn’t get back together and I would be getting a divorce and that I would meet someone new very soon. She didn’t pick up that we are currently working through out differences and was talking as though we are already split up. We had parted 4 months ago but for the last month we have been dating again and I have never felt so happy, however after that reading I cna’t get out my head what she said to me 🙁

    • Angel

      What ended up happening ?

    • misyange

      Well the good news is me and my husband are still together and we have never been happier. She also told me that in June I would be looking at divorce papers. Don’t get me wrong it hasn’t bee an easy ride for me and my husband but we are slowly getting there. If I had listened to her I would be on my own and unhappy. One other thing she told me was that I would be changing Jobs in May or June which I did as I was made redundant but she said I would only stay in this job till November as the woman are bitches and yet again I haven’t been able to get this comment out my head. There are issues in the office where I work but the bitchiness is towards the boss and not me. I am hoping to change that atmosphere at work so will see what happens in November. I am so angry that there are readers out there that say these sort of things to people and I really would love to send her an e-mail explaining how much she upset me. They shouldn’t be so specific in what they say ie she said I would not be getting back with my husband but she didn’t know we were already together. Whenever girlfriends tallk to me about going to see a tarot reader I always talk them out of it and I have gone to readers for 20 years. The only time I stopped was when I met my husband so for 8 years I never went to one but when we split up I was desperate for answers

    • kaye

      I would try not to let what they say get u down otherwise it is a self fulfilling prophesy live your life as it goes… things change as you change your thoughts and direction on life and you csn chose your own path.

    • Angelica

      The same thing just happen to me and my sons dad we are working things out and I got a card reading saying it’s not going to and that I will find a new man down the road 🙁 How did u get over this reading thing

    • misyange

      I cried a lot of tears as I really believed it would happen I spoke to my husband about it and he went mad and told me to never go to one again. I also spoke to a friend of mine who works with someone who does readings on the side and he said that a lot of the stuff they tell you is made up as they try to read you. She also told me that the following June with my supposdly new man I would be thinking of trying for a baby. Now I am 40 and don’t want children and certainly not at the age I am at. She told me I would change jobs in the November which never happened. Me and my husband are still together and have been now for over 12 months. We have our ups and downs as does every relationship

      At the end of the day people tend to go for readings who are having problems. What I did instead was found forums that had gone through the same thing I had but I read the positive stories of how they had turned their lifes around and that helped me tremendously. Hope you are ok sending love as I know exaclty what you are going through xx

    • Sam

      Did you ask them if you would get divorced? If they offered it without being asked then it was a little unnecessary for them to offer the information. I never offer that information unless asked which, honestly, some clients can really pressure for those kinds of answers.. The “she didn’t pick up on” (and in another comment being so angry you want to send an email to the readers) part just shows lack of maturity in understanding psychics aren’t Gods nor perfect. Not saying their aren’t fakes or frauds out there, but some people’s expectations of everyday psychics are just really strange and it leads to why people end up falling for the con artists who promise 99% accuracy because they can’t accept that an honest non-fraud psychic might not be absolutely perfect. The disclaimer should state on any ethical psychic’s website “For entertainment purposes only.” Not because psychics aren’t psychic but so YOU don’t give all your decision making or power away to them thinking they are perfect or are responsible for your life. Even Jesus said the apocalypse would happen during his disciples lifetime, so even he wasn’t 100% right all of the time.

      Another concern from your anxiety and not being able to stop crying is that it shows extreme codependency/loss of self into the relationship. So, perhaps the bigger issue involves working on codependency issues and fear of loss. Possibly, this can help with your anxiety and with your marriage (which I realize this was 3 years ago, but I’m answering for others who might see this and be going through something similar). I’ve had similar terror over loss. I realized it was a form of love addiction and not healthy. To get over the anxiety of loss, I had to face the fear by affirming to myself “Even if I lose this relationship, I will be okay.” Use other affirmations to affirm you are strong, you know who you are without a relationship. As a reader, one thing I tend to notice most is that when a person gets their self back (from giving their power away), that is what tends to save the relationship. Either that or they attract someone new. But the person living in fear of loss, seems to get stuck in a rut that never changes, and they may start getting addicted to psychics and other things needing constant reassurance that everything is going to be okay, not knowing who they are without their partner. It is simply the inability to face painful emotions. So don’t run from your fears.

      As a last note, what I often offer clients is that they use a prayer of some sort to get their ego out of the way and aligned with the highest good of all. With the prayer, you can visualize placing your hand over your partners hand and then your guardian angels placing their hands over both your hands. Ask that what is in the highest good of both of you occur. That if it is meant to be that you stay together (reconnect) that what is needed happen so that this easily and effortlessly can work itself out. But, if it is not meant to be, that you be able to get closure and that you heal easily and effortlessly and can move forward in life, open to love. I find a lot of people who seek a fortune teller are fixated on clinging, need for control, and ego. The best way around this is to work to release the ego and get the vibrant, confident, self back with ability to have your own life, hobbies, and identity. Let go of control.

  • neen

    Hi
    Misyange. I totally hear you! I had the same thing just happen to me.
    Everything has been going great in many areas of my life so I don’t know why I
    went to this reader. Some of the things were general guidance advice but then
    she gave me some upsetting specifics I can’t get out of my head. I actually had
    a couple great dates with someone and for once felt like I can open myself up
    to try to give a relationship a chance and she says that she doesn’t know if I’ll
    end up with this person or meet someone else. But basically it put the cabash
    on any good feelings I had about giving this person a real chance and getting
    to know them and I felt really sad about that. Then she tells me she sees me
    making this big teaching career thing down the road for which in my field, is
    also another very depressing fact. How do I get this stuff out of my head so
    that I can keep making my own decisions about my future instead of letting some
    card reading dictate my life choices?? Help!

    • misyange

      Sorry only just seen your message. How are you doing now a few months down the line?

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