10.30.12 Love

5 Tips For Dealing With Your Partner Looking At Other Women

5 Tips For Dealing With Your Partner Looking At Other Women

BY Sarah Prout

Men look at other women and it’s perfectly normal. However, many women feel uncomfortable and start fuming (read: steam billowing out of their ears) when they see their lover eye-balling a younger woman wearing a tight dress or bust them looking at the most ridiculously-themed porn. Have you seen some of that stuff? It’s seriously hilarious and I know you know what I’m talking about.

Here are some practical tips for dealing with this situation:

1. See it for what it is.
I think that the base cause of the feelings of discomfort for women when their partners look at other ladies can be insecurity and it’s really a pointless waste of your precious energy. From personal experience I can honestly say there have been times that my blood wanted to boil when I caught my partner mentally undressing a random woman in a restaurant, supermarket or in the post office. But the biological essence of the situation is that it means nothing. Literally nothing. It’s a fleeting surge that happens within the mind of the man and doesn’t mean he’s going to spontaneously sweep the attractive stranger off her feet and run away with her.

2. Jealousy is not very pretty.
Some men are better than others when it comes to taking a sneaky peek at a hottie. I know if I was a man I’d be pretty good at it I think. I’m pretty good at it now when I check out a man I find attractive.

The key point to remember here is that it’s about feeling worthy within yourself and not letting jealously rattle your cage. By comparing yourself to the woman you bust your partner looking at can be really upsetting and damaging to your
self-esteem if you let it.

3. Transform your fear into trust.
Just remember that it’s not an opportunity to question the special nature of your relationship or question your own unique attractiveness. Fear always attracts more fear so make sure that you approach any issues that make you feel
awkward with a sense of calm when you feel it’s necessary to discuss this with your partner.

Essentially, it’s all about empowerment: feeling comfortable in your own skin so it shouldn’t bother you whatsoever if your man checks out other women.

4. Invite your partner to channel the sexual energy towards you.
I opened a discussion to my boyfriend recently about this tpic as he felt slightly uncomfortable expressing to me that he indeed feels attracted to other women. I told him that this falls into the category of his own private conversation with the Universe and I don’t need to know everything. I also told him that the way I intend to view the situation is that I’m the lucky lady that gets to have all of that energy channelled into me (if you catch my drift) in the privacy and sanctity of our relationship.

5. Allow yourself to shine.
I’ve spent way too much of my life not feeling worthy and choosing to get grumpy over stupid, insignificant stuff. But I’m choosing NOW to be the best time ever to celebrate my own sexiness, my own beauty and my own ability to intend that I feel secure in all situations that arise. The key is alignment and moving away from fear based sense of false competition to allow the essence of our glorious expression as women to shine!

Sarah Prout is a bestselling author, co-founder of the Adventures In Manifesting series, entrepreneur, publisher and mumma of 2 little darlings. She reaches over 55,000 followers in over 24 countries around the globe with heartfelt, vibrant and empowering advice about love, business and style. Visit: SarahProut.com.

Sarah Prout is a bestselling author, co-founder of the Adventures In Manifesting series, entrepreneur, publisher and mumma of 2 little darlings. She reaches over 55,000 followers in over 24 countries around the globe with heartfelt, vibrant and empowering advice about love, business and style. See more of Sarah's work on her website.


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  • luciddasiy

    Yea, but mine goes online and looks through women’s profiles. If he’s home alone, he looks up porn, then when we’re alone he isn’t in the mood or too tired.. I mean, maybe he just has an internet addiction and abuses it in ways that hurt our relationship. Anytime I bring it up, *I’m nagging*..

    • Ellie

      Your comment is the most relatable to my problem. I, several times, have seen that he looks up multiple women online. I confronted him about it and told him that it makes me feel unattractive because I’ll never look like the women he looks up; he apologized and seemed really sincere. But he still does it. It’s just not as obvious. Am I supposed compromise and allow him to look up hot women as long as I have no knowledge of it, or am I supposed to make him cut it off completely? Sounds unreasonable, but I feel that would be the only way I would actually believe him when he tells me that he finds me attractive. I hate being an insecure, paranoid woman. Hahaha.

    • Cougar Age

      The energy he is putting into other women should be put into YOU and that should be non-negotiable.

    • Cougar Age

      Leave him. Leave him to his internet obsession. Find a man that values YOU and wants to focus on YOU. There are so many men…why would you settle for that one!?

  • Lynnita

    I want to use this medium to thank this great prophet who brought happiness to my life again, Have been married for 3years now and i cant conceive any child, my mother in-law, begin to hate on me even when i visit her, she ignores me, with this reaction from my husband people, i felt abandon, i tired all pill and consultation, but all prove abortive, until i was browsing through the internet and i saw a testimony of a woman who saved her marriage from divorce.Immediately i picked courage to give a try,When i contacted prophet osaze he requested for my information and current state of my marriage and assured me that i will smile again and all those who hate on me, will now worship me.Behold after 48hours of prayer section on phone an via email with him, i experienced changes in my life style, my mother in-law called me to check on me and her son, she has never done this for 2years now, i was suprise and fully convinced when she came over to our house during the weekend to check on us, with her two other daughters. the all apologized for ignoring me and hating on me.To be short, in 4weeks of this section prayer completed, i conceived and my marriage is blessed with a baby boy. We all happy and will forever be grateful to this man. I agure all woman and men with marital or relationship problem to contact prophet Osaze via email: spirituallove @ hotmail. com, today..

  • Cougar Age

    To the author of the piece-

    I see it for what it is-disrespectful to the max. A glance is no big deal, but ogling is absolutely going to cause an issue if a guy is with me and acts that way. I don’t do it with hot guys around an SO and I expect/deserve that same respect back. PERIOD.

  • DollyLlama

    A week ago, I caught my husband taking a lông, long look down another (married) woman’s shirt. He was in the store and I was in the car with our kids. My son asked what his father was doing and glanced up to see him dropping his eyeballs down her top. I asked him why and he said he didn’t. It wasn’t until I was in the shop a couple days later that I realized he lied. When I got back in the car, he said “It’s really hard to see through the windows of the store.” Brain sent off the red flags. I knew then he did it. We had a frank discussion in which he admitted, as I suspected, to have been doing this the duration of our relationship. We had issues with fidelity when we first got together and I was able to forgive and move on. I told him then that I could not emotionally deal with another incidence of cheating ever again. Fast forward to our conversation, and he admitted to thinking about cheating because he didn’t think I would ever find out. My heart shattered. I’ve been his everything for the last twelve years: his patsy, his whipping boy, his support system…I have had to rearrange my schedule to his work schedule without so much as a thank you.
    I told him yesterday that I wanted a trial separation to think about the direction we are headed. He refused. Said our relationship was lacking us…I pointed out that it lacks us because only one of us has tried to make us us…He begged to fix it and said he would show me ever day he can be the husband I deserve.
    I don’t trust him though.

    • Raven Alchemy

      I am impressed by your strength and how well you handled this! Whenever this happens to me, I shut down. I need to learn to stand up for myself.

  • js

    My fiance’ is texting his police co-workers about hot women. I read a text he sent to one that said.. girl in the green shirt…DAT A$$!
    I have seen him check out other women while with me. Even in passing cars. should I be concerned?

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