December 29th, 2013

I’m going to start this piece with something I never use: a negative. I’ve had a DIRE few weeks, and I never, ever, say that. When I say I’m not okay, my friends’ look panicked because this does not happen; it’s like the Queen saying ‘bollocks’, impossible. A domino effect of disappointments smacked me right in the face, out of nowhere, for the first time in years. The agent I wanted for my book passed, out of blue financial costs have wiped me out for December, my Christmas plans are in tatters, someone I was looking forward to meeting turned out to be hideous, and I lost my favourite ring somewhere. These were the main offenders with some other minors flying around just because, why not hey?

After a final tearful phone call to Barclays, poor them, I sunk myself into a hot soapy bath with my mind flitting back and forth while spiraling down a rabbit hole of questions, namely, ‘WHY?!’ The crux of the upset was the agent. I had my heart set on the hitting the New Year with an agent firmly by my side ready to take on the world, and with that vision diminished I felt the fabric of my carefully thought out 2014 crumble. This didn’t last too long though, of course – it’s me. Logic kicked in, and I found myself performing a mental post mortem of the year, yes, rather than get hung up the one thing I wanted to hit a new year with, what about the many wonderful things that I didn’t set out to achieve? They were pretty cool and not part of ‘the plan’ no?

I’m always the first to say stay fluid and open in order to reach your dream destination, as you never know where fate will guide you, but I had unknowingly slipped into the dangerous mindset of seeing the end of the year as a deadline for success. Scrap that. In reality there are no time limits as everything is happening simultaneously, only we see one version of events unfold at a time.

 A resolution is:

  1. The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination.
  2. A resolving to do something
  3. A course of action determined or decided on

You can have a resolution anytime. The clichéd ‘new year’ one is about as outdated as an age to be married, successful, wealthy, a mother. I think we can all agree that life does not naturally work this way. Set your resolutions as often as you like. That way: no mental deadline, it’s just something you will do. Hell yes!

The chances are, you’ll get to the end of this year, or any year, and have a bunch of things you didn’t do, but this is A-Okay. I know there is a waterfall of things you did do, that are just as vital to your happiness and future dreams. Things to be proud of, occasions to celebrate, and also the fact that you’re another year wiser. Remembering and reviewing are way more important and benefital to the future rather than setting yourself up for a superficial ‘fail’ via a list of goals that may not happen within a 12-month period. Let the time frames go. Go into a new year delighted with the good times of the previous one and accept the not so good as little life lessons to keep you on your toes.

The little things really matter too. I would say I am happy nearly every day, with or without my list of life goals ticked. I am happy and grateful every day for my health, my friends, my freedom, my home, the list is endless. Be grateful for all that you have, and push on. Happy New Year!

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