11.15.13 Truth & Wisdom
BY Sadie Brown
hindsight [ˈhaɪndˌsaɪt] n 1. the ability to understand, after something has happened, what should have been done or what caused the event
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. It’s all so easy to carry out a successful post mortem on a life event once it has passed, but while we’re slap bang in the middle of something that may in fact turn out to shape us, we rarely see it as an opportunity presented until years later, and I wouldn’t want it any, other, way.
I was a late bloomer in many ways, stuck in tomboy mode with no understanding of fashion, sex, culture, or what it meant to be a woman; being chubby with an unkempt blonde afro to boot also meant I was pretty much a loner. I was however, light years ahead of the teenagers around me when it came to purpose, focus and ambition. Being unpopular just meant I had more me time, and freedom to follow my own personal dreams and path. Looking back, the amount of rejection I felt as a teenager, has really made me kick arse as an adult, without a second thought to what people may think: no ‘in crowd’ to impress, no alteration of my true desires.
As I continued through my teens, I threw myself into my twenties with the same full steam ahead passion and dedication to success, with the word ‘failure’ not in my vocabulary. And then, it came. Everything went tits up in my twenties like a domino effect of truly dire situations. Financial struggles, my first heartbreak, fair weather friends, depression, eating disorders, failure after failure, and finally my actual apartment’s ceiling failing in on me, how’s that for symbolic?
But you know what? I needed it. I believe it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, I believe there is no joy in living a life experiencing nothing but the numbness of mundane. I want to be able to say, “I know what that feels like” in order to help others. Sure, I wouldn’t have wish for my world to turn upside down, but without it I wouldn’t be here now, who I am now, and I wouldn’t be writing this for you.
It was my failures and hurts that lead me here after all, the perfect place. I needed every inch of my life just as it has played in order to become strongest version of myself. Therefore, I would simply have told my 14 year old self: Do exactly as you wish. The failures will make you, the wrong lovers will teach, the lean times will mature you, and the payoff will be just heavenly – DO, NOT, CHANGE. (Just maybe get some hair styling advice)
Retain naïve positively – it will guarantee an adventure.